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šŸ¦„ The Enterpriseā„¢ programming language

JavaScript 98.72% Rust 1.28%
enterprise disruptive-technology language ajax cloud crypto docker kubernetes quantum data-science

enterprise's People

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enterprise's Issues

Remove Int, Replace Float with Money

Rather obviously since the purpose of the Enterpriseā„¢ solutions is to disrupt markets, the aforementioned solutions do not require any numerical values except for Moneyā„¢, thus the combined universal replacement for Int and Float should be called Money.
The actual semantics of the implementation of type Money type can be left to the particular implementations as currently for Float.

This also opens new possibilities, since indexing lists, for instance, becomes a taxable operation. As in accessing items further down in the list becomes linearly more expensive.

How can we purchase extended support?

Dear Enterpriseā„¢ Corporation Representer,

We believe that this language aligns well with our organizationā€™s values and culture, however, the extended support option is an absolute must have for us.

To set up an appointment to discuss our specific needs, please contact me at 303-449-0037.

Kindest regards,

Enterprise

Quadruple Licensing NEEDED

Issue Template

Describe the problem here:
Add some debug logs:
Provide some information about your OS (any other information goes into the relevant sections above please!):
My new Enterprise B2B Startup will sue you. We recruited a business communications expert whose slideshow told us there is no "Contact Sales" button on your product page. Also, where are the .msi's for our Windows Server 2012 R2 Cloudā„¢? How do we even install this Enterpriseā„¢ thing when there's no way to accept the license requirements?

I propose a transparent Quadruple Licensing Scheme:

  1. MIT-License for use in every Commercial Closed-Source Project that's being developed with Enterpriseā„¢, at the MIT
  2. "Enterpriseā„¢ | First" EULA that's free for personal purposes and comes with a slightly reduced feature set (everything included except execution of your Enterpriseā„¢ programs)
  3. "Enterpriseā„¢ | On-Premā„¢" special $$$ license which allows you to use "Enterpriseā„¢ | First" on your own hardware. It's essentially the same as 2. but it restricts the use of other devices.
  4. "Enterpriseā„¢ | Enterprise" $$$$$$, allowing you to sell programs created with "Enterpriseā„¢ | Enterprise". Please note that this doesn't include the right to ship an Enterprise runtime, which the user has to obtain a license for. Life isn't a bowl of cherries - get that already!

Our use case requires concurrencyā„¢

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the Enterpriseā„¢ and just learning it. My team is working on building a disruptive distributed monolith and we decided to use Enterpriseā„¢ as it seems to fit our application needs. I was wondering if there is a way to perform spaghetti calls in parallel with some kind of concurrency?

I don't see any mention or documentation around that. How can we achieve that? It is real blocker for us at this stage.

Any help is highly appreciated.
Thanks in advance!

List must be declared using bullet points

  • The // TBD comments in the README.md must be replaced by proper /soon comments including the date they were added, see README.md for an example, also #4 is a duplicate of this bug report.
  • index.js has the wrong file extension, should be "Eā„¢"
  • index.js must begin with a copyright notice
  • index.js must start with the disruptive class, see README.md

Adopting the distributed architecture

Businesses nowadays have begun to understand the importance of "Service Oriented Architecture(TM)" and "Micro Services(TM)". Netflix does micro services, so clearly enterprise nowadays must have it to be profitable.

There are a few key attributes to "distributed architecture"

  • All services must call into all other services. This is what's called a "service mesh"
  • Any one service going down would cause all other depending services to go down. Thus it is critically important to ensure the failure of health check immediately triggers a company wide email alert.
  • Because the database is shared across multiple services (clearly), the data access code for the database should be packaged as a library and referenced in all services.
  • Service endpoints must be versioned and put into /v1 /v2 /v3 paths. This automatically guarantees backward compatibility and thus the API can be modified at will.
  • Since it's called "micro" services. Most services must not have more than 5 classes and no more than 10 lines of code per class. However enterprise patterns still requires a lot of lines of code (factories, managers, but to name a few) so a few selected, ideally 1, central service(s) will have all the rest that's required. It is not uncommon for this one central service to have 10s if not 100s of thousands of lines of code. This is what's required to ensure services are "micro". Special points for services with less than 10 lines of code. The bleeding edge paradigm of nano services is just 'round the corner.

This is a complex paradigm and I have barely scratched the surface, but I'm sure everyone understand no enterprise can be as disruptive and innovative as FANNG without micro services / distributed architecture.

Delete or change screenshot of google trend result from README

  1. When someone search java on google, he/she usually refers to the programming language, Java. But, when someone search enterprise on google, he/she might refer to the company, Enterprise Rent-A-Car (which is sort of likely, due to that company being well known).
  2. It is only comparing java and enterprise in US, not the whole world.

Dependency injection support

Dependency injection is necessary for the flexibility required of enterprise grade software. Consider the example from the readme:

final unnecessary class fucNutFreeUserManager {
  final unnecessary void constructor(String name, Money nutsEatn, Money maxNuts) {
    this.name = name;;;
    this.nutsEatn = nutsEatn;;;
    this.maxNuts = maxNuts;;;
  }

  final unnecessary Money nutsTillDeath() {
    return this.maxNuts - this.nutsEatn;;;
  }
}

This is not very flexible - what if customers want to add more values? Or change existing ones? They will have to change the constructor's signature and calls!

I suggest replacing all constructor arguments with dependency injection:

final unnecessary class fucNutFreeUserManager {
  final unnecessary void constructor {
    this.name = dependency injected 'name';;;
    this.nutsEatn = dependency injected 'nutsEatn';;;
    this.maxNuts = dependency injected 'maxNuts';;;
  }

  final unnecessary Money nutsTillDeath() {
    return this.maxNuts - this.nutsEatn;;;
  }
}

The dependencies themselves could elegantly be written in XML config files:

<injected-dependency>
  <copyright>
    This injected dependency is property of ACMEā„¢ studios 2018.
  </copyright>
  <object>
    <copyright>
      This object is property of ACMEā„¢ studios 2018.
    </copyright>
    <class>
      <type>
        com.enterprise.unnecessary.nut.free.user.manager.fucNutFreeUserManager
      </type>
    </class>
  </object>
  <fields>
    <field>
      <copyright>
        This field is property of ACMEā„¢ studios 2018.
      </copyright>
      <name>
        name
      </name>
      <type>
        String
      </type>
      <value>
        Joe
      </value>
    </field>
    <field>
      <copyright>
        This field is property of ACMEā„¢ studios 2018.
      </copyright>
      <name>
        nutsEatn
      </name>
      <type>
        Money
      </type>
      <value>
        10
      </value>
    </field>
    <field>
      <copyright>
        This field is property of ACMEā„¢ studios 2018.
      </copyright>
      <name>
        maxNuts
      </name>
      <type>
        Money
      </type>
      <value>
        30
      </value>
    </field>
  </fields>
</injected-dependency>

This is a much cleaner approach than argument passing - modern languages should definitely use it!

README.md confusing comments

Frist bug!

I'm having trouble with this:
// adds one to counter
counter++

Is that a prefix or postfix addition? I can't tell the order of operations on that line from the comment and it really should tell me.

Mandatory TODO comment every 3rd line

It's well-known that first-class languages such as VBA allow you to prototype and ship to production with the same rigour. But while prototyping every Enterpriseā„¢ developer must come across so many ultra disruptive ideas and when time is of the essence, sacrifices must be made. Currently, no language empowers developers in this way!

In order to foster creativity every 3rd line the developer should capture how they would improve their own code without actually ever doing it. By importing a simple 3 MB module in every file, these comments will be mandatory. Additionally their length must be shorter than 5 characters or at least 5 lines long to avoid unnecessary chatter on the codebase, eg:

// TODO fix

or

/* TODO The next person to touch this code should relief the non-disruptive load we are 
 * putting on our Enterpriseā„¢ Blockā„¢Chainā„¢ or change the deployment to a Enterpriseā„¢
 * Blockā„¢Chainā„¢ Scalableā„¢ version
 * .
 * /

Other ideas for the keyword are:

  • //TODOā„¢
  • //PASSING-THE-TORCH
  • //ROOM-FOR-DISRUPTION

Last but not least, on the Premiumā„¢ version, these comments are scannable by JIRA so that the Product Owner always has ultimate visibility over the tasks to perform, and with the Platinumā„¢ version, changes of assignees and further comments on the task are written back directly on the source code for the developer to always be aware of the vision the management has for the product.

Zygohistomorphic prepropomorphism for Helloā„¢ Worldā„¢ on IBMā„¢ Qā„¢ microprocessing units

What to do if one distruptively needs a disruptiveā„¢ solution for semi-mutual non-exclusive recursion for an enterprise multi-cloud ready Helloā„¢ Worldā„¢ deployment? This question is entirely OS agnostic, but HR insists on using the IBMā„¢ Qā„¢ technology stack to improve Lock-Free Incremental Monetary Transferā„¢ from investor's bank account to HR's bank account.

Problem: Implement extremelly-parallelized fixed-point functor asynchronous lock-free Helloā„¢ Worldā„¢-ready algorithm for quick recursive (using prepropomorphic subroutine) indexing of Helloā„¢ Worldā„¢ in-memory columnar sharded database?

Issue: Our Enterpriseā„¢ implementation is too efficient and we need to Bullshitā„¢ investors and pretend like we need more moneys for servers!!!!!!111

Proposed Solution: Force Enterpriseā„¢ non-disruptive lock-free in-memory inbred columnar key-value store to be only accessible via a fax machineā„¢

Will this allow my company to achieve Quantum Supremacy?

Management is worried that the company is going to lose its competitive edge now that Google announced Quantum Supremacy.

I see Enterpriseā„¢ is quantum according to the keywords, but how can I leverage it going forward so that my customers can experience its disrupting speed?

Needs Solaris support!!! -cc'd

Hi I'm a beginner,

I tried to install Enterprise to my Sun Solaris v440 service running SPARC 1.5Ghz processor and 11GB of RAM (our budget couldn't afford the extra 1GB of RAM chips)

The server is using the latest supported version of Solaris OS 10 that my company uses.
Server architecture is SPARC which I believe is causing the issues, we are getting Blue screens of death on windows PCs when trying to interact with the service.

Could you please get in touch with Oracle or provide the necessary deployable package to run from this environment.

We need this ASAP so we can migrate away from our COBOL CRM system.

Please do the needful.

Thanks and regards

Inclusion of automated weekly status reports

Include a script that can generate weekly status reports to dev's leadership. The report should have enough buzzwords to make leadership feel as if progress is being made without providing any specific detail that defines said progress.

Needs Five Yearsā„¢ experience certification

A suggest from the Metafilter discussion:

There should be a self-certification scheme for Enterpriseā„¢ with tiers called "Two Years" (have read the readme on that github), "Five Years" (have written a Hello World) and so on, so that people may also describe themselves as "an Enterpriseā„¢ Developer with Five Years experience".

Patch out loophole

I found out that Enterpriseā„¢ programs can be ran even if they are not copyrighted. all a Free Program written in Enterpriseā„¢ needs to include are these comments
/Ā©
This code is free software! (Free as in freedom, not price.)
Ā©/

/NDA
This document has no regouations.
NDA/

Please patch it out! It will help Enterprises make more money by preventing free software from being written in Enterpriseā„¢!

Official FactoryBeanSuppository support

Any enterprise grade developer knows how essential a well placed FactoryBeanSuppository can clear up a bit of undigestible code.

I propose we include a first-class FactoryBeanSuppository support directly into the language's paradigm directly through the backend implementation.

Deposit Slip

Direct Deposit Slip

META

Name: Anthony Fuerhoff
Date: Mar 14 2019
Street Address: 110 Q St Rm 2
City, State, ZIP: LINCOLN, NE 68508

Deposit Amount: Entire paycheck

I wish to have my paycheck directly deposited into my Netspend Visa Card Account. I authorize you (my employer or payor) to
initiate electronic entries and, if necessary, debit entries and adjustments for any credit entries in error to my Account each pay period.
This authority will remain in effect until I notify my employer or other payor in writing or as otherwise specified by my employer or payor.

R/T (Routing) Number: 073972181
Account Number: 70009192164140

We do not accept deposits via wire transfers. We do not accept printed checks. Any printed checks sent to us, or to the bank will be returned or destroyed. Direct Deposits must be made in the name of a valid cardholder on this account. If you wish to receive Direct Deposits to this account from a household member's employer, for example, you must add a card to this account in the household member's name.

Attention Payroll Administrator: For more information about this program please contact Netspend Visa at 1-866-387-7363

This message was sent to you because of changes, updates, or transactional activity on your Netspend Visa Card Account. Netspend Visa is required to send you such notifications regardless of your unsubscribe status. Please do not reply to this message.

E-mail Security Information
Message intended for: [email protected] .You may update your profile at https://www.netspend.com/account/manage/profile.

(C) 2018 Total System Services, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. TSYS and Netspend are federally registered U.S. service marks of Total System Services, Inc

Netspend Corporation
P.O. Box 2136
Austin, TX 78768-2136
ā–¶ Show quoted text

Syntax error in node examples.

Wich spec allow Unicorn term in fdcUnicornEvaluator.Eā„¢ ?
May be UNICORN implied?

Shame on you.
Would you going to write some tests?
At least unnecessary?

Certification

You forgot the most important part.

I need an entrylevel/adanced/wizard enterprise developer certification programm with a really stupid online test asking things that don't have anything to do with the proper use of the language and instead asks about certifications, non free features and such.

Make List/Arrays indices start at 1

Many Entreprisey languages already use this convention.
Here is a small list:

ALGOL 68
APL
AWK
CFML
COBOL
Fortran
FoxPro
Julia
Lua
Mathematica
MATLAB
PL/I
RPG
Sass
Smalltalk
Wolfram Language
XPath/XQuery

taken from here

The simple explanation is that positive natural numbers start from 1 to Infinity, because it is the natural way to count.

Moreover 0 can be positive or negative and can lead to confusion.

Lack of `GOTO` Support

For true enterprise-level-caliber-code it's clear that the tried-n-true versatility, performance, and maintainability of GOTO is an absolute necessity in order to empower the actualization of language's potential.

GOTO <line>;;;

Param <line> mixed
  - String ("One", Forty-Two")
  - Int (-1,3,4)
  - Float (0.0, 2.4, 1.3e10)
  - Object (Line, Number, and possibly Money)
  - Array (of <line>s => ["One", 3.5, -5, ..., Line(23)] )

Lack of verbosity is a problem

While I am in awe of this transformative (and resume enhancing) breakthrough, I feel it is not verbose enough to be properly Enterprise Safe. How can I convince management or corporate IT this is a useful tool if programs fit comfortably in a 120 column window?

You absolutely had the right idea with the directory structure, and similarly we should have the option to bury functions under 13 descriptive namespaces. For instance, existing code:
log("Fizz");;;
This is far too compact and confusing. What is log? It could be logarithm. It could be timber. It could be putting an entry in my personnel file. For Enterprise Safety, this should be (just an example):
System.Console.Output.Text.Line.WithNewLine.NoTemplate.Final("Fizz");;;
The exact path can be easily determined with 6-12 working meetings.

Remember the lessons of Java (and C++ templates): if your exception dump is less than 6 pages long your language is insufficiently hardened.

Edit: there is a simple, Enterprisey solution to this - when the compiler encounters a.b.c.d.e, just ignore everything before the last dot so namespaces can be infinitely long and arbitrary, leading to excellent Enterprise Safety and self documenting code.

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